What am I even doing with my life

Sometimes I feel helpless and useless, much like I feel now.

I feel like I am stuck, this morning I was reminded by the closest people in my life, my own parents. That I really haven't reached the stage of a "much" better me. As much as I didn't want to hear my flaws labelled one after the other, I think I needed to.

I know, I know that I have potential in me, in fact, an incredible amount that I would never let myself fully face, because I am a giant wuss. I am scared, and afraid of challenges. I've made countless problems, and now I'm stuck in this place where I don't know when, WHAT TOMORROW, I will actually start acting like the person I want to be, the "Rebecca Tsao" I ultimately want to improve.
It's time it's time it's time, like a broken record that never sings its tunes.

Well let myself imagine this now, I have flipped the record off, smashed it, and now there are the pieces on the floor, in which I am responsible for, and it's time to fix it and make it even better. A song that will last me a life time.